Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it.
I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.
So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
[First Name][Last Name]
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